Sonnetstuck
Oh you're going to Promstuck! Do you have a date? Who's the lucky woman (or man)?
Anonymous

I do! I will be going on the arm of my lovely moirail mooseychan. She’s the one who made those god tier sprites of me, and she’s a great cosplayer and a really cool lady and basically the best bff ever. <>

Submissions! Updates! Prom!

Just wanted to make a quick post to apologize for getting behind on publishing your submissions (in addition to still not getting my own stuff up at a lively pace). So if you’re one of the people whose poem has been languishing in my inbox for a month, I’m very sorry, and I promise to put it up soon.

As for my own poems, I’m still in a bit of a creative rut (as you can surely tell by the paucity and low quality of my recent output), but rest assured that I haven’t lost any of my passion or enthusiasm for this blog. Thanks for sticking with me through this slow period, and know that I’ll eventually get back to my usual level and quality of production.

Finally, I wanted to let you know that I’m going to be attending NYC Promstuck: The Land of Frost and Frogs Winter Snow Ball this December. If you’re also going to be there, I’d love for you to say hi to me! I’m not sure what I’ll be wearing yet, but once I figure it out, I’ll tell you or post a picture or something so you can find me.

Hi, guys! I’m so, so sorry for leaving you all without an update for so long. Like many other people, I started a new year of college recently, and I’ve been super-busy. Still, I should have at least posted something to let you know what was up, and I’m sincerely sorry that I didn’t.

But anyway. Here’s a new silly little poem, finally. And from now on, I’m going to try my hardest to give you all at least one new poem per week. I’ve also got some great submissions to publish, so barring a meteor impact, there won’t be another poem-less period this long for quite some time.

Again, I’m really sorry for letting this blog sit dormant for so long, and I promise the stream of sonnets (and other projects - don’t think I’ve forgotten about Detective Pony!) will once more flow. Now enjoy this poem about ghost butts.

CATSxHomestuck: Dualscar’s Last Stand

by ~QuaxoRascal
(If known, to be sung to the tune of “Growltiger’s Last Stand”)


DUALSCAR was a seadweller, who lived upon a ship;
In fact he was the roughest troll outside the Empress’ grip.
From rustbloods up to indigos he gave trolls tremb’ling knees,
Rejoicing in his title: “Scourge of Alternian Seas.”

His manner and appearance calculated to spread fear;
His gold rings tapped together so loud ev’ryone could hear;
His pointed cape was fright’ning, no need to explain why,
And he scowled upon the hostile world with piercing purple eyes.

The peasant-bloods and monarchy knew something of his fame,
The green- and mustardbloods alike both shuddered at his name.
Trolls would lock up all the lusii and keep the wrigglers down,
When the rumour rang along the shore: DUALSCAR’S COME TO TOWN!

Woe to the weak three-sweep-old, that fled their guardian’s flank;
Woe to the pampered landdweller, that left the ocean’s bank.
Woe to the bristly lowblood troll, that lurks on high-class ships;
And woe to all lusii with whom Dualscar came to grips.

But most to SPINNERET MINDFANG, his hatred had been vowed;
For the MARQUISE, he was pitch black, no other was allowed.
In his black and red quadrants both he figured she should be—
But a new slave with myst’ry blood kept her pity from he.

Now one peaceful equinox night, all nature seemed at play,
The vibrant moons were shining bright, the ship at the docks lay.
All in the neon moonlight it lay rocking on the tide—
And Dualscar was disposed to show his temperamental side.

In a room aboard her vessel, Du’lscar stood unimpressed,
Concentrating his attentions on how his lady was dressed.
She called her slave girl over to unfasten her long coat—
The Lady’s pining for her was getting the highblood’s goat.

She claimed to not have eye or ear but for her kismesis,
As he watched them, Orphaner Du’lscar faced internal crisis.
She’d succumbed to relaxation, and she tried to catch his eye—
But the mariner had made his choice and left with no “goodbye”.

And that night just before dawn he came and took the slave,
With servants of his own he had her bound to her own grave.
His rings, they clinked together with the sound of a sharp knife—
And the other troll just stared a silent plea to take her life.

Then Du’lscar gave the signal for his crew to flee the scene;
With a shot from Ahab’s Crosshairs the ground was soon stained green.
Abandoning his hate-lover, who’d finally got his goat;
He left her slave girl all alone, his cape flapping like her coat.

Then Spinneret, she gave a screech, that morn when to’er was said:
"I’m sorry to admit it, but your flushcrush, she is dead."
Dualscar he escaped with ease to give Mindfang away—
But when he went to GHB, the hunter became prey.

The giant troll pressed forward, grew closer with each breath;
Dualscar to his vast surprise was forced to early death.
He who a thousand victims had driven to that fate,
At the end of all his crimes tried to flee but he was too late.

Oh there was joy for all trolls when the news swept through the land;
Maroon- and tealbloods alike were dancing on the strand.
Grubs were roasted whole by trolls of different shades of blue,
And a day of celebration was brought forth for ev’ry hue.

-submitted by QuaxoRascal on Deviantart

Inspired by this wonderful fic by lizawithazed.

Images from MT+HK album art, the video for Fly, and this photoshoot from Bowman’s Tumblr, if you were curious.

And here’s a link to the poem in text form, if it’s hard to read the images.