So first, and most of all, I’m sorry. Sorry for abandoning this blog for so long and not leaving you any sort of post or message telling you I’d be gone. I know that it bothers me when blogs I follow just vanish like that, and I hate that I did it to you guys. Also, I don’t want to sound self-important, but if any of you were concerned about my wellbeing because of my sudden disappearance, I sincerely apologize for making you worry. I’m sure a lot of you know how it is, though; you don’t update your blog [or return an email or fulfill a social obligation or whatever else it is] for a while, then feel guilty about it, which makes it harder to bring yourself to do the thing, which makes you put it off more, which makes you feel more guilty… Rinse and repeat for a year and a half, and here we are.

I won’t dwell any more on apologies, because that’ll make it harder to post even this. But one last time: Sorry.

With that out of the way, let’s talk about good stuff! This blog probably isn’t going to be as active as it used to be at its peak, but I do have plans for it! A bit of personal background: I recently graduated from college (school-related stress and busyness was a big factor in my lack of updates, actually), and I’m making a concerted effort to work more on creative writing to keep myself sharp and to counteract the monotonous and discouraging nature of the job hunt. As part of this effort, I’m going to try to work on several projects related to this blog. I don’t know what the pace of them will be, but I’ll try my hardest to put out at least one post of some kind per week. These projects are:

1. Completing poems that I’d started but never finished. I have a few half-done poems (some sonnets, some much longer pieces) lying around, and I’ll try to finish them, or at least get them to a presentable state.

2. Write new poems. Self-explanatory.

3. Write new Homestuck-related fiction/essays? Note the question mark, but it’s something that might happen. As I mentioned, I want to do a thing a week, and I’m sure there’ll be weeks when I don’t have any poetic inspiration but I’ll have something else that I want to write.

4. Post follower submissions. I’ve gotten maybe a half dozen submitted sonnets while I’ve been gone, and I feel terribly guilty that I haven’t done anything with them. So I’ll be putting them up, spread over the course of a few weeks so each of them gets the individual attention it deserves.

5. MYSTERY PROJECT. I’ll make a separate post about this one later, because it’s too complex to explain concisely. I don’t want to give it away here, but I will say that the subject of the project rhymes with “Shmetective Shmony.”

I think that’s about it. I’m going to try really hard to make this semi-comeback stick, because I’ve seen tons of blogs come off hiatus, produce a burst of new content, and then go permanently silent, and I don’t want that to happen here. But if I do shift back into hiatus-mode, I promise that I’ll keep you in the loop and not repeat my vanishing act. And keep an eye out for my Detective Pony announcement/plans in the next few days.

Apples and Dates: a Poem in Seven Sapphic Stanzas







Are we allowed to use the poems you write for school things? Your poetry is so great it rhymes and is Homestuck? Sign me up.

First of all, I’m so, so sorry for forgetting to answer this for so long!

And to answer your question, absolutely, go for it. Just be sure to cite the poem properly if you’re using in in a formal essay (just like you’d do with any internet source). But if you’re just reciting it for an acting class or talent show or something casual, go ahead and use it however you want.

this blog is my favorite homestuck blog. so great. can i pay you to write a sonnet, have you considered doing commissions at all?

First of all, thank you so much! And to answer your question, I never really considered doing commissions; I didn’t think there’d be any demand. If it’s a poem on an mspa-related topic, I’ll do it for free, of course. (I haven’t gotten any topic suggestions for a while, so this might be a good chance to remind people that I love to get them in my ask box.) I’m totally willing to write on other things too, but I have no idea what kind of payment would be fair. (What’s the street value of fourteen rhyming lines?)

So if you (or any other people) are interested in commissioning me to write something, drop me an ask, and we can privately discuss the details — what you want the the poem to be about, what (if any) special style or formatting you want, when you need it by, and whatever kind of payment (money, some kind of trade, or something else) that you think would be fair. :)

The Riddle of Strider

All that is gold is not AJ.  
All those who fall were warned, chump.  
The coolkid who’s chill does not shiver,  
Pokerface unfazed by plush rump.  
From the clockwork a rhythm be woken,  
A beat from the static shall spring.  
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,  
The vinyl again shall let sing.  

-submitted by jocularWitticism

YOU ARE AMAZING. How many chapters of detective pony pals have you done? I got a copy to edit for my friend for christmas but I haven't gotten past the pages that hussie did. Do you have any suggestions for the later chapters of the book?

Aww, thanks! I’ve actually been working a lot on Detective Pony recently, and I’ve just started chapter 6. (Now that my Fall semester is ending, I anticipate having more time to work on it (and other projects for this blog), and maybe finish it before the year’s end.)

But anyway, suggestions. For the next few chapters after Hussie’s edits, I just went on in the same style, editing parts of sentences to make them nonsensical/more profane/otherwise funny. If you want, feel free to use anything you want from what I’ve already posted.

After two chapters of that, I started nudging the book towards an entirely new plot, involving all the same characters, but totally different in content and tone from the original text. I had these running parallel for a while, but eventually, I had the new plot grow proportionally larger and eventually entirely overtake the original.

Remember, “Later, about halfway through the book, rather than see the gag through to the bitter end, Strider began pasting over entire pages of original text with his own completely rewritten version of the story, while keeping all the chapter titles. His revision is a tough, emotionally draining read. But it’s cathartic, in all the worst ways possible.” So the end goal is to totally replace the original text with your own. Right now in my process, I’m near the tipping point where my text takes up more of the page than the original text. It’s the opposite of the beginning: I’m telling my story, with a line of the original here and there to help it along or add humor by taking it out of context. I’ve already had a couple pages entirely replaced with my stuff, and they’re coming more and more frequently.

Or, of course, you could go a less intense route. If the goal is just to give your friend something amusing and you don’t want to spend hours and hours on it, you could just put a couple text edits on each page, and maybe a few funny drawings. You could take as your model the Wizardology book or the book about the first flight around the world that Hussie himself defaced (Detective Pony itself is a reference to these). In other words, you could comment on the text without entering into conversation with it. If there’s some kind of edit every couple of pages, it’ll be clear that you put a lot of work into it, and it’ll be a great gift.

But if you want to go all-out, I’d suggest first deciding what you want your story to be once you start replacing entire pages, then find ways to work towards that. If you want to see what I’ve done so far and use some of that, let me know, and I’ll send it to you. I’d prefer not to put it out there publicly until I’ve finished the whole thing, but I’d be happy to share it with you if you think it’ll help you. Good luck!