Apples and Dates: a Poem in Seven Sapphic Stanzas







Are we allowed to use the poems you write for school things? Your poetry is so great it rhymes and is Homestuck? Sign me up.

First of all, I’m so, so sorry for forgetting to answer this for so long!

And to answer your question, absolutely, go for it. Just be sure to cite the poem properly if you’re using in in a formal essay (just like you’d do with any internet source). But if you’re just reciting it for an acting class or talent show or something casual, go ahead and use it however you want.

this blog is my favorite homestuck blog. so great. can i pay you to write a sonnet, have you considered doing commissions at all?

First of all, thank you so much! And to answer your question, I never really considered doing commissions; I didn’t think there’d be any demand. If it’s a poem on an mspa-related topic, I’ll do it for free, of course. (I haven’t gotten any topic suggestions for a while, so this might be a good chance to remind people that I love to get them in my ask box.) I’m totally willing to write on other things too, but I have no idea what kind of payment would be fair. (What’s the street value of fourteen rhyming lines?)

So if you (or any other people) are interested in commissioning me to write something, drop me an ask, and we can privately discuss the details — what you want the the poem to be about, what (if any) special style or formatting you want, when you need it by, and whatever kind of payment (money, some kind of trade, or something else) that you think would be fair. :)

The Riddle of Strider

All that is gold is not AJ.  
All those who fall were warned, chump.  
The coolkid who’s chill does not shiver,  
Pokerface unfazed by plush rump.  
From the clockwork a rhythm be woken,  
A beat from the static shall spring.  
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,  
The vinyl again shall let sing.  

-submitted by jocularWitticism

YOU ARE AMAZING. How many chapters of detective pony pals have you done? I got a copy to edit for my friend for christmas but I haven't gotten past the pages that hussie did. Do you have any suggestions for the later chapters of the book?

Aww, thanks! I’ve actually been working a lot on Detective Pony recently, and I’ve just started chapter 6. (Now that my Fall semester is ending, I anticipate having more time to work on it (and other projects for this blog), and maybe finish it before the year’s end.)

But anyway, suggestions. For the next few chapters after Hussie’s edits, I just went on in the same style, editing parts of sentences to make them nonsensical/more profane/otherwise funny. If you want, feel free to use anything you want from what I’ve already posted.

After two chapters of that, I started nudging the book towards an entirely new plot, involving all the same characters, but totally different in content and tone from the original text. I had these running parallel for a while, but eventually, I had the new plot grow proportionally larger and eventually entirely overtake the original.

Remember, “Later, about halfway through the book, rather than see the gag through to the bitter end, Strider began pasting over entire pages of original text with his own completely rewritten version of the story, while keeping all the chapter titles. His revision is a tough, emotionally draining read. But it’s cathartic, in all the worst ways possible.” So the end goal is to totally replace the original text with your own. Right now in my process, I’m near the tipping point where my text takes up more of the page than the original text. It’s the opposite of the beginning: I’m telling my story, with a line of the original here and there to help it along or add humor by taking it out of context. I’ve already had a couple pages entirely replaced with my stuff, and they’re coming more and more frequently.

Or, of course, you could go a less intense route. If the goal is just to give your friend something amusing and you don’t want to spend hours and hours on it, you could just put a couple text edits on each page, and maybe a few funny drawings. You could take as your model the Wizardology book or the book about the first flight around the world that Hussie himself defaced (Detective Pony itself is a reference to these). In other words, you could comment on the text without entering into conversation with it. If there’s some kind of edit every couple of pages, it’ll be clear that you put a lot of work into it, and it’ll be a great gift.

But if you want to go all-out, I’d suggest first deciding what you want your story to be once you start replacing entire pages, then find ways to work towards that. If you want to see what I’ve done so far and use some of that, let me know, and I’ll send it to you. I’d prefer not to put it out there publicly until I’ve finished the whole thing, but I’d be happy to share it with you if you think it’ll help you. Good luck!

HOMIE I'M SAD I DIDN'T KNOW WHO YOU WERE AT PROMSTUCK I WOULDA SAID HI AND SHAKEN YOUR HAND FOR RUNNING THIS FANTASTIC BLOG. ~Love from the Rose in the purple and black (I don't think we saw each other much but that's ok I will watch for you at the next one)

Darn, I’m sorry I missed you! Yeah, the next time I go to a meetup or convention or something, I’ll post a picture of myself in what I’ll be wearing so people can find me if they’re so inclined. And I saw a couple of Roses in purple and black that night, but I remember them all looking fabulous.

私はあなたの勃起したズキズキコックを吸うする必要があります。まで、私はスペルマ·、私はあなたを請う:私のスリットをなめる。あなたは一生懸命私のプッシーをファックしたい。正しいですか?私はうめき声を強制します。私がダラダラです。私のクリトリスをこする。あなたの馬のペニスで私を価値を落とす。速い。私は暑さの中での牝馬のようなうめき声をしたいと思います。あなたの競走馬は、実行中。それは爆風に向かっている。私に痴漢行為。音がいななき。私はあなたの食肉を食べるようになる。プラス、あなたが私に乗るときは、鞭を使うことができます。はい。 私は疲れまで私がギャロップしてください。私の着陸場ダウンあなたの種牡馬を送信します。ノーチンコヘビーあまりにも。すべては私のリーグにある。私はあなたのスティードです。この馬は意志決して降圧型。ただ、Horuss私をファック。私にファック。私にファック….ファック。
A haiku to NYC promstuck

Homestucks in nice clothes.
Tons of rad people dancing.
Is my bow tie straight?

I just wanted to say a big thank you to the people who organized NYC promstuck last weekend, and to everyone who showed up. This was my first Homestuck meetup ever, and you all made it a great one. As a first-timer, it was kind of surreal to be surrounded with so much Homestuck — surreal, and wonderful. (Also, I discovered that my BFF Moosey is as awesome irl as she is online.)

If any of you were there, I was the tall guy with shaggy hair wearing the black tux with the green bow tie and Jade ears who spend most of the night chilling with his pals near the bar. (In retrospect, I probably should have posted a picture of myself on this blog so you could find me if you wanted to say hi; oh well.) If I see any pictures of me pop up in the nyc promstuck tag, I may link to them or something.

Anyway, a silly little google-translated Damara poem for today, and a more substantial update soon.